Kingdom Ready Blog

It seems these days when people ask me how I’m doing, I’ll answer “busy!” The reality of it all is, that my life has seemed more than just busy lately, it’s been “crazy busy!” My husband and I discuss this scheduling mayhem in our life, and part of it is just the season in which we find ourselves, when you have five children who have activities, sports and social lives of their own, on top of our own family’s activities and responsibilities, our careers, interests, friends and marriage. Yet, as a mother and a wife, I realize the harm and destruction that overcommitment can wreak on a marriage and family if you’re not careful.
Dr. James Dobson once warned, “Overcommitment and exhaustion are the most insidious and pervasive marriage killers you will ever encounter as a couple.”

There is truth to that, and a wise couple will adhere to that wisdom. When you’re overcommitted and always in a hurry, you set the family pace of constant, daily ‘Hurry, hurry, hurry, or we’ll be late!’ where patience is short, anger and tension lie just below the surface, and there is no down time to build relationships, because you’re more busy ‘doing‘ than ‘being.‘

The problem with our busy schedules, is that when you look at what fills our days, it’s all good stuff. It’s not like we’re doing things that are bad, or unhealthy, or not worthy of our time. Yet, some days, it feels like we are trying to jam 36 hours worth of good stuff into only 24 hours of a day. Many families are just living moment to moment, reacting to whatever they have to do next, and trying to hurry to get to wherever they were supposed to have been fifteen minutes ago.

If I am to be a wise mother and wife, I want to help steer my family into making the right choices and prioritizing what is most important to the family as a whole. It may not be easy, but we cannot say “yes” to everything. We might have to say ‘no’ to something we would really like to do. We have to intentionally build in ‘down time’ into our schedules, for it is when the kids are truly ‘bored’ that they begin to use their imaginations and play outside, building hideouts and making all sorts of toys out of sticks and left-over bicycle parts! It is during the down times, that husbands and wives can reconnect on the couch for hand-holding, snuggling and conversations that build true intimacy in a marriage. It is important when parents and children have time to rest, nap, or become couch potatoes for just a little while, because well rested children are better behaved children. Parents who are not exhausted, parent better and become better spouses, who can serve their partner with a joyful attitude.

While some people need a little kick or pep talk to get motivated to go do something, I think the majority of Americans fall into the overly-committed-crazy-busy-exhausted-tired-worn-out category that needs God’s tender and gentle Hand to guide them back to seeking Him, His Kingdom, and obedience to His commandments. When we over-extend ourselves, I believe we are living in pride – thinking that we can actually do more than we really are capable of doing. I think we are worshiping a false god – whether it be money, prestige, job promotions, the esteem of others, your own children! I think when we get so run down and exhausted, we are not taking care of our bodies, the temple of the Holy Spirit. I believe when we are pushing the limits of what we and our kids are involved in, we are robbing them of their relationship with us and the time we have to help build them into young people who will love and serve the one true, living God. They are being robbed of teachable moments, that just spontaneously come up, where we can teach them God’s precepts and His word, when we are just doing ordinary things together. But, that doesn’t happen, when we drop them off at another practice or a lesson or another friend’s house. I suppose when I think this concept through, I come to the conclusion, that rather than something to boast about how busy we are, it might just be a sin that we should instead confess and repent to our God about, then go about making some drastic changes to our family’s schedule and our priorities. Boy, do I hate when I get convicted by something…it means I have to change. But, how can we go on living in sin, when God calls us out to be separate and live holy lives, devoted and committed to Him and His priorities? Should we not reflect that in our lives?

I could be wrong here, but I think a godly life in 2010, isn’t going to have to be one lived back in 1850, but it is one where the timeless values and principles of the Scriptures are applied and lived out right now. It doesn’t mean that our kids can’t play in sports, or can’t go to a piano lesson. But, I think it means that we must be diligent in choosing to live a balanced life, where we still have time to just ‘be.’ Where we still have time to enjoy a meal together around the kitchen table, and then talk about God to our kids. Or, when we aren’t so rushed or busy, that we can have a friend over for coffee and talk about what’s bothering her, or meet a buddy out for some early morning basketball, to develop a new friendship where someday, we might be able to share Christ and the coming Kingdom with them.

I know full well that I’m not delving into any deep Theological subject here that is worth debating or discussing, but perhaps I am hitting a note, not only with you, but with myself as well, that we can only build relationships with our spouse, our kids, and our God, when we prioritize it and carve time out of our busy schedules to make time for it. We are to be about our Father’s business, and that means loving God, loving people, and sharing Jesus with them. If we’re too busy to do that, then perhaps we’re crazy-busy, and need to simplify and eliminate the clutter in our lives.
When Jesus says in Matthew 6:33 “Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you,” I think he’s giving us our marching orders of where our priorities in this life should be, and giving us permission to be in hot pursuit of the things of God and what pleases God the most. Everything else in our lives, when we follow this simple formula, will fall into place.