Pornography Solutions
Before jumping in and offering some encouragement and helpful ways to overcome pornography, let’s first delve a little deeper into what watching pornography does to us.
Dehumanization
Perhaps the greatest reason God limited sex to marriage was to ensure it happened in a relational context, within the bonds of lifelong covenant. Dehumanization is when we think of a fellow person as something less than a human of equal dignity and value. This is extremely dangerous because of how it enables us to rationalize violating others. Thus, especially for Christians who believe all people share in the imago Dei, dehumanization is always wrong! However, this is endemic to pornography depictions. One study from 2012 concluded, “The research demonstrates that men who implicitly dehumanize women (as either animals or objects) are also likely to sexually victimize them.”33 Porn actress, Tanya Burleson, formerly known as Jersey Jaxin, said:
“Guys are punching you in the face. You get ripped. Your insides can come out of you. It’s never ending. You’re viewed as an object — not as a human with a spirit. People do drugs because they can’t deal with the way they’re being treated.” 34
Indeed, drug use is extremely high among workers in the sex industry.35 Although, Bible-believing Christians and feminists disagree quite vehemently on certain subjects, we find in each other great allies when it comes to fighting against pornography. Consider the words of Laurie Shrage:
“Pornography shapes both female and male sexual desire into victim/abuser roles and represents predatory sexual behaviors as natural forms of sexual and gender expression. Pornography is therefore harmful to men who consume it, as well as to women who have sexual contact with men, on and off screen. In MacKinnon’s words, pornography represents ‘sex forced on real women so that it can be sold at a profit to be forced on other real women; women’s bodies trussed and maimed and raped and made into things to be hurt and obtained and accessed, and this is presented as the nature of women; the coercion that is visible and the coercion that has become invisible—this and more bothers feminists about pornography … pornography causes attitudes and behaviors of violence and discrimination that define the treatment and status of half of the population.’”36
Here Shrage puts her finger on three issues:
1. Objectifying the person in the sex act (in the studio)
2. Objectifying the person while watching later (on a screen)
3. Objectifying people in real relationships because of mental conditioning while consuming porn
Powerful Chemical Cocktail
By now, hopefully, we can all agree that porn’s detriments vastly outweigh whatever benefits porn may provide. However, if you’ve ever tried to quit using pornography, it can be very difficult. Mark Laaser offers the following helpful neurochemical description:
“On the front end of the sexual response cycle is arousal or excitement. If the sex we’re thinking about is exciting, which it almost always is, then adrenaline gets the body ready for sex. Breathing gets faster, and the heart pumps faster, giving parts of the body increased blood flow. In the brain the adrenaline has an upper effect.
The main drug involved in arousal or sexual pleasure is dopamine. This is the ultimate feel-good brain chemical. Other substances and some activities elevate dopamine, which is the favorite drug of many who don’t even know its name. They are really dopamine junkies. Remember that even sexual fantasies can release this drug in the pleasure center of the brain. It is quite the high.
Sex involves touch. We either engage in touch with our spouse, or…ourselves in an act of masturbation. This releases another powerful sex drug—oxytocin. Nursing mothers are very familiar with this because it is the chemical that bonds a child to the mother during nursing. This drug gives us a feeling of well-being and connection. If children don’t get touched enough…these children will stop growing and, in extreme cases, will even die. When we grow older, we still need human touch and, therefore, oxytocin. This drug is also a natural upper.
When sexual activity produces an orgasm, a whole other set of brain chemicals are produced in the pleasure center—the catecholamines. These drugs have been compared to heroin and produce the euphoria that is experienced right after sex. There is also a calming experience with these drugs that causes a person to ‘come down’ from the pleasure cycle in a very pleasing way. The whole cycle take us up, helps us feel connected, and then euphorically brings us back down. The memory center of the brain remembers all of this and wants to do it again and again.”37
Apparently, God designed our bodies to create powerful bonds through sex. Now, within marriage these chemical processes unite the couple and condition their brains to return to the bedroom over and over. However, pornography removes the orgasm from sex, removes sex from intimacy with another person, and removes sexual relationships from marriage. Consequently, masturbating to pornography creates an artificial bond with someone who doesn’t know us and trains our brains to return to this activity over and over.
Overcoming Pornography
Thankfully, we’re not doomed here. There is hope. Many believers have conquered this soul-deforming behavior. Scripture assures us that God will be there to help us find a way out of temptation:
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
However powerless we may feel, God is mighty enough to help us overcome this! We need to get our eyes off of ourselves and onto God as with David and Goliath (1 Sam 17:26).
Tactics for Kicking the Habit
– Make a decision: Until you genuinely commit to dealing with this, you will probably not get free.
– Prayer and fasting: This is a spiritual superpower to knock us out of our routines and seek God with an increased intensity. Be sure to fast to God and not to be seen by people (Mat 6:16-18).
– Fight the battle in your mind: We need to take every thought captive to obey Christ (2 Cor 10:5) and renew our minds so we can pursue God’s will (Rom 12:2). If we allow our fantasies to play in our minds, we will find ourselves overwhelmed by our neural chemicals to resist.
– Sabotage yourself: “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Rom 13:14). Make it hard for yourself to access pornography. Install a filter for your browser on your computer, tablet, and/or phone. Disable the internet during certain hours when you know you’re likely to use it or even get rid of home internet for a time.
– Get accountable: Find a brother or a sister (probably the same gender) that you can trust and confess this sin to. Ask him/her to hold you accountable (James 5:16). Call him/her when you feel tempted.
– Get Christian counseling: Many times sexual addiction grows from the wounds we experienced as children. A competent Christian counselor can help you work through issues and receive healing so that the “medicine” of pornography will no longer be necessary.
When trying to stop a behavior, it often helps to incorporate new habits. If you are not already doing it, read the Bible daily, especially a verse or two on purity. You can find a list of such Scriptures by searching “Bible on purity.”38 For example, when I struggled with pornography, meditating on how Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Mat 5:8), motivated me to change. Only once the desire to quit exceeds the desire to continue can we expect victory. I came to a place in my own soul where I so wanted to see God and enjoy Him forever, that it was worth it to me to cut off porn. In addition, fill your time with serving God and His people. The more real interactions you have with actual people, the less likely you are to hold to skewed fantasies about the opposite sex.
33 Laurie Rudman and Kris Mescher, “Of Animals and Objects: Men’s Implicit Dehumanization of Women and Likelihood of Sexual Aggression,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, February 28, 2012, http://psp.sagepub.com/content/38/6/734, accessed February 3, 2017, p. 1.
34 “Pornography Statistics,” Covenant Eyes, p. 6, http://www.covenanteyes.com/pornstats, accessed February 3, 2017.
35 According to Covenant Eyes, 79% of porn performers use marijuana, and 50% use ecstasy.
36 Shrage, Laurie, “Feminist Perspectives on Sex Markets”, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Fall 2016 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), URL = plato.stanford.edu/archives/fall2016/entries/feminist-sex-markets/, accessed February 3, 2017.
37 Mark R. Laaser, Taking Every Thought Captive (Kansas City: Beacon Hill Press 2011), pp. 49-50
38 https://www.openbible.info/topics/purity
