Have you noticed our society getting more fractured and isolated? The World Health Organization categorizes loneliness and social isolation as a “major public health challenge” demanding an “urgent need for action.” They proclaim boldly that “our ability to thrive, both as individuals and as nations, depends on our ability to connect with others.”¹

Do you feel the tug to stay home, to order in, to isolate?

Our society has been moving in this direction for a long time, primarily due to added conveniences brought about by technological advancements. We don’t want to go out to the grocery store, so we order groceries to be delivered to our front doors. Instead of going to the theater to watch movies; we stream them at home. We don’t enter the gas station and interact with the clerk; we just pay at the pump. We don’t go to the department store or drugstore to buy clothing or ibuprofen; we have Amazon deliver them. Then there’s telehealth via video conferencing and working from home—and we haven’t even mentioned social media.

All these conveniences add up. We may be the most isolated society in history, and we are paying the consequences. Loneliness, depression, social anxiety, and suicide are all major problems affecting millions.

What’s the solution?

Get around people. God designed us for community. We are not supposed to eat all our meals alone. That’s unnatural. If all your interactions with friends are online, you’re missing out on so much.

Without question the best community you can participate in is your local church or home fellowship. It is there that you can not only worship God but also build relationships with other human beings in person.

Now when you gather for worship, it’s not the same as going to the movies. In a theater—if you can think back to the last time you went to one—it doesn’t matter who sits in front of you or behind you. Movie-goers are not there to socialize or build connections, though that wouldn’t be bad. No, generally, those watching a film are merely physically proximate to enjoy the shared experience of the large screen and the high-quality sound. You’re a spectator not a participant. Now that may be fine for the movies, but it is not appropriate for attending church.

In church, you are a participant. During the music, you’re not just watching other people worship God, you’re supposed to be doing it too. When the basket passes around for the offering, it’s not a smartphone break or an opportunity to see what others are giving. No, it’s an opportunity for you to give. When the preacher reads from the scripture, instead of daydreaming about football or lunch or work, read along in your Bible. Instead of leaving immediately after the service, find someone who looks awkward or lonely and introduce yourself.

Community doesn’t just happen. It takes effort.

Funny enough, one of the greatest challenges in building community is the people. One has smelly breath. Another talks too much. A third is painfully shy. Then there’s the guy that you find creepy or the lady that doesn’t let go when you hug her. Very few people have the same interests as you. I get it. It’s hard. Sometimes it’s awkward.

It’s still worth it.

When Paul addressed the subject of community to the church at Rome, he wrote the following.

Romans 12:3-8. For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members and not all the members have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; the encourager, in encouragement; the giver, in sincerity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness.

Does it surprise you that when the apostle Paul began to talk about community, the first subject he addressed was humility? He tells us not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought to think. We must be humble, because pridefulness will destroy a community. In fact, humility is probably the single biggest community enabler.

Humility is especially hard for those of us who have been following Christ for decades. It’s easy to mistake our way of doing something with “Thus says the LORD.” We must tell ourselves over and over: “I could be wrong about this,” “There could be a better way,” and “I’m willing to listen to other ideas.” If you are humble, it will be easier to get along with you. People will like you more. Community will be easier.

The next topic Paul raised after humility, is diversity. We shouldn’t expect everyone to be the same. God delights in diversity. Just look at how many different kinds of saltwater fish there are. How many kinds of dogs are there? He didn’t just make one type of flower, did he? When we look at God’s creation, we get the impression that God loves diversity. So it is in the church.
You may be tempted to think that you only want to be friends with others who are like you: the same age, the same race, the same education, the same interests, etc. This is a mistake. Yes, it’s easier to develop relationships with those who are like you, but you won’t gain as much from them. Getting to know people who are different will stretch you but that will also make you a better person.

The fact is, we have different roles, different gifts, and different ways that we serve. Specifically, Paul mentioned prophecy, ministering, teaching, encouraging, giving, leading, and showing compassion. Of course, this is not an exhaustive list, nor is it mutually exclusive. For example, one can teach and also show compassion. The point is you have something you can do to participate in your community. So, whatever it is, do it … and do it well.

Let me give you an example. Let’s say you join the refreshments team at your church. Suddenly you have a shared purpose with the others at that time. Maybe you go to the grocery store together or prepare food on Saturday night. Perhaps you show up early on Sunday to warm something up. You’re serving shoulder to shoulder with others. This is how people get to know you. This is how you get to know others. This is how relationships are built.

Now, let’s say you lose your job, your dog dies, or you get a scary diagnosis. Since you’ve been serving on the refreshments team, they notice if you don’t show up or you come but you’re downcast. Because you’ve put in the effort to build relationships, you have people in your life who care about you. They pray for you; they help you; they give advice; etc. Relational support is how God designed communities to help individuals to get through life.

Let’s flip the scenario for a moment. Instead of something bad, let’s imagine something good happens to you. You get promoted at work, you buy your first house, or you have your first child. Now, since you’re part of a community, you have others in your life to share this good news with. People will rejoice with you. They will encourage you and support you. Once again, this is how God designed us to go through life.

In conclusion, don’t buy into the lie that convenience and comfort are all that matter. Recognize your need for community, especially Christian community. With humility, we can build healthy relationships with each other to support each other in the bad times and the good times. If you are going to fight isolation, it will take effort. Sometimes you’ll get offended. People will fail you in other ways. When that happens—not if, but when—you’ll be tempted to withdraw. But here’s my encouragement to you. Get back on the saddle and keep fighting for community because that’s how God designed us to live.

1. From Loneliness to Social Connection – Charting a Path to Healthier Societies (World Health Organization, 2025), v.[↩]