Sex within Marriage
The ethics of our society in the past had primarily been molded based upon the Scriptures; however, in recent years secular humanism has gained ascendance over the truth. Secular humanism is a worldview based on atheism, naturalism, evolution, and ethical relativism. Secular humanism denies supernatural significance; therefore, one’s thoughts, inclination, and actions are based only on natural desires and instincts. Ethical relativism is the belief that no absolute moral code exists, and therefore man must adjust his ethical standards in each situation according to his own judgment. If God does not exist, then He cannot establish an absolute moral code. Human beings may and do make up their own rules, and morality is not discovered; it is made.
Secular humanism is a life stance focusing on the way human beings can lead good and happy lives without God. Humans are at the center of this philosophy because it rejects the supernatural as the standard of moral reflection and decision making. Its influence is in every sphere of society – education, religion, politics, environmentalism, social services, and sexuality….
1 Corinthians 7:1 – The word “touch” according to the context is referring to sexual touch. As members of God’s holy family, we hug each other and greet each other with “a holy kiss” (1 Thessalonians 5:26) and “Greet one another with a kiss of love” (1 Peter 5:14). Touching each other in a holy, respectful way is important. We all need godly touch.
2 – This is by no means a command for everyone to be married; rather, if you are tempted with sexual urges, seek to be married rather than giving yourself over to the many ways of fornication.
3 – Most translations imply conjugal cohabitation based on context:
KJV Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise, also the wife unto the husband.
MGI A husband should pay to his wife the love that is owed. So also, the wife to her husband.
NET A husband should give to his wife her sexual rights, and likewise a wife to her husband.
RSV The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
When the husband fulfills his duties to his wife and the wife to the husband as stated in Ephesians 5:21- 33, the foundation for a loving, godly, self-sacrificing sexual relationship will thrive. The marriage that is not centered in godliness is one that has high potential of difficulties in the sexual area as well as all aspects of marriage. Denying self, dying to self while living for God and loving others, underpins marriage and sex as God them designed to be.
Ephesians 5:33 – Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed and respected. Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.
4 – God’s ethical standard for sex is the sanctity of the lifetime commitment and fidelity of marriage. This uniquely distinct, interdependent activity demands the parameters of a lifetime commitment. Anything less denigrates. The mental, physical, and emotional natural differences of a male and female require godly sacrificial love. Each is to give over himself/herself 100% to satisfy the other and when done as such epitomizes the way the whole marriage relationship is to function. The husband’s concern is to satisfy his wife, and the wife’s concern is to satisfy her husband. This special gift is shared only with the person who has committed himself/herself completely to you for no one else deserves or can appreciate such a surrender of self and the intimacy involved. All sex outside the marriage commitment at its core is selfcentered because it facilitates the other to disobey God’s commandments.
5 – A healthy sex life eliminates temptations.
Hebrews 13:4 – The specifics of sex are determined by the couple’s application of godly ethics from the Scriptures and the education they gain from each other as they experience sex together. Knowledge is gained by communication and experience with each other, not friends, Hollywood, or pornography.
The Bible does not discus contraceptives; therefore, the couple decides what is best for them, nor does it say that sex is only for procreation.
The specifics of the sexual act are mutually decided with kindness, tenderness, patience, respect, and never harmful to yourself or the other.
When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences, then love has a chance to blossom.
The brain of a man is different physically and functionally than a woman’s. They have different shapes, and the same parts do certain things differently. The right and left hemispheres work independently in men. Men tend to be focused more by shutting down one side of the brain so they can shut out distractions. Women use both sides of the brain at the same time at an integrative, whole level. What we call “woman’s intuition” is in reality a high-speed, integrative thought process. Women’s brains are life radar; men are more life laser beams.
Most men are ready for sex all the time, women not so. Women are like a crockpot and men a microwave. Women deal with the menstrual cycle, the regular natural change that occurs in the female reproductive system (specifically the uterus and ovaries) that makes pregnancy possible. Up to 80% of women report having some symptoms during the one to two weeks prior to menstruation. Common symptoms include acne, tender breasts, bloating, feeling tired, irritability, and mood changes. These symptoms interfere with normal life and therefore qualify as premenstrual syndrome in 20 to 30% of women. In 3 to 8%, they are severe.
Many things change in a woman’s body when she has children and with age, not as much so with men A man’s sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results.
A woman’s sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships.
Proverbs 5:15-23
